#?!!@##! and A Peach Tree Grows in The Valley

The Bathroom Sink
The handyman showed up around 7:30a this morning, backed his little trailer up to the garage and came in so we could go over the task list. It had nothing to do with him personally, but from that point on the day seemed to spiral down slowly into a vortex of things going wrong.

He started in the bathroom with the sink. If I'd known we were starting here, I would have emptied the cabinet underneath.

"If you are going to start in there, I should clean out from under the bathroom sink", I offered, trying to keep the panic out of my voice.

"Nah, that's OK, I'll work around it." He folded himself down until he was about three feet tall and started doing a plumbing thing.

I'm thinking. Oh my. What is under there? I venture a little peek. Oh my. Just as I thought. Summer's Eve. Hot wax removal kit for unsightly and unwanted facial hair. Ear wax removal kit. Why did God make people have unsightly hair and waxy ears?

"Oops", says he. "I think we have a little leak here. I'm going to have to move some of this stuff.

Out comes the Summer's Eve, including the one that is NOT IN THE BOX!

Followed by the wax kits, the urinary tract relief, the toe fungi cure, old hair rollers with hair in them from when my hair was long enough to roll, the sexy little plastic back massager and old gooey, dried up hair gels and lotions.

In an effort to appear helpful while hoping to mask the urgency of my movements, I kind of shoved by him and grabbed the fungus cure and the urinary tract relief. He two handed together the red, pink and purple nail polishes with removers.

"Just put them on the counter there", I said trying to distract him.

He's a married guy with kids. He knows about this stuff. Yeah, but what about my dignity? How can you tell a workman to do things for you when he's handled your Summer's Eve and purple nail polish?

Lesson: Be prepared for workmen in your house. Clean out everything.

The Kitchen Sink

"Hey, you need to come here for a minute."

I did a quick save on the computer and made my way to the kitchen project area. The sink was out of the hole in the counter and SO WERE THE TILES THAT HAD BEEN UNDER THE EDGE OF IT!!

"The tiles came up with the sink. They were not originally attached very well", he said sadly. Sadly, because this was not supposed to happen and it was certainly messing up his plans to get everything done this week.

I commiserated. We stood over the sink hole (metaphorically speaking) and pondered. We came to a conclusion that neither one of us was too pleased with, but was really the only option. Put the tiles back and go from there. Hope for the best.........................

The Dishwasher

"Hey, you need to come here for a minute." He has installed our new dishwasher.

With a tiny sense of dread, I made my way to the kitchen - again.

"This thing from the dishwasher is broken and so is the silverware basket".

Yep, they were broken.

Find the receipt, call Home Depot, here's the manufacturer's telephone number, dial it, go through about five menu choices, wait and listen to very obnoxious music in addition to them telling me every minute that "We know your time is valuable. We are here to serve you. Please stay on the line and a customer service representative will be with you shortly."

Finally after about 15 minutes the music and voice stop and then no one comes on the line. I wait a few more minutes listening to dead silence, hang up and go through the whole spiel again and then one more time. Finally I choose a direct operator choice from the menu and get an actual person on the line. It's now been about 30 minutes since I started.

After another 45 minutes during which I was on hold again for 15 minutes, I receive confirmation that a cutlery basket will be mailed to me and then I am given another phone number to call for a local company who will make the other repair. I call, have to leave a message there with assurances that I will be contacted yet today.....we'll see.

OK. Enough with the troubles. On a different note. While I was on the telephone with the customer service rep, someone came to my front door.

I spoke to the customer rep. "I am going to have to put you on hold a minute while I answer my door. Please do not hang up."

I answer the door. A nice, smiling lady is there. "Hi, I'm your neighbor down the street and I have to tell you that I have been coveting your peaches." OK, how much weirder is this day going to get?

"Peaches? What peaches?"

"You have a peach tree in that little valley next to your house."

"What? We have a peach tree? No."

"Yes, you do. My husband and I walk the neighborhood a lot and I've seen them for some time now. I was wondering if I could have some to make jam and chutney. I am sort of the neighborhood bag lady. I've found grapes, too on someones property and they also didn't know they had them there."

I was rather flabbergasted as I had no idea that we had a peach tree on our property. I had to check this out.

"Give me your name and number and after I look at this tree, I'll call you about it. I'm sure you can have some. I just want to see them first." Yep. Them thar is peaches, by golly.